First things first

Not sure why I decided to start a blog. Perhaps just to get out what's inside of my head and make sense of it all. I just turned 41. Man. It hurts to see that in type.  Anyway, when it comes to family...I don't feel my age. I still feel five. I don't know why but for some reason and I have no real clear memories but when I was five years old, I felt as if everything in the world was ok. I was the baby of six siblings and my mom and dad were in their prime. I'm married now, I have two children and a grandson. My kids can make me feel like I'm five too but its a  whole different sensation, almost scary at times. As far as my other family, being five is a good thing almost. I'm treated like an adult up until certain situations.  I'm still the one that is the last to know almost everything that happens in the family.  I'm 5. I have zero control of what's going on. I'm pacified most of the time and yet lead to believe that my adult opinion counts. Yeah, Right.  Now that my Dad has been gone for almost two years and my mommy has Alzheimer's, how am I supposed to NOT feel five anymore?